I'm taking care of someone else's cats for a few days, it's almost half over and I only just realized today that 'oh yeah, I can cry my everloving heart out again if I wanted,' so I did, both coming and going. It wasn't completely without provocation. Mary's daughter posted on her timeline today about how she misses her and just, ow. And of course I keep running into things today from true stories, an organ donor PSA, to tv show episodes that are sad and that starts to set me off, too. (Writing this post is setting me off...)
I wonder when the crying will stop. I've had some times when I've been able to talk about her and memories of her without evoking tears, but today is a crying day, everything is sad. I don't think even my mom knows how sad I am or the people I interact with regularly. I think I'm pretty good at shutting out my troubles in order to just function and enjoy the things I enjoy, even when I'm alone and don't need to pretend.
Anyway, that's today's rambling.
P.S. Oh yes, I texted her husband the other week and he replied promptly and a couple pictures of him and his family in Arizona have popped up and it's good to see him smiling. But god, just thinking about him coming home to an empty house makes me cry again. ARHG!
Anyway, I'm knitting him a scarf for Christmas. I'd like to make something for all her children, but I don't think I have the time.